Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Changes

This weekend was a busy one for me. Jon and I went to see Prince on Saturday evening and then we all had Bradley’s football banquet on Sunday. While I enjoyed both evenings I’d really rather not have two things in one weekend.

I was complaining about it to an old friend I bumped into last week and she remarked how much I’ve changed over the years. She wanted to know where the “bar bunny” had gone; she regaled me with stories of years past and how much fun I used to be. To her the changes she sees aren’t good ones. I’ve lost my fun, my edge and who I was.

She’s right that I’ve changed over the years – of course I have; we all do. The changes aren’t the ones she’s observed though. Sure I used to go out a lot, but that doesn’t mean that Lynne was the authentic one; it only means that’s what I used to do. When I was 20 I didn’t know why I was always exhausted, I didn’t know why I was cranky, I didn’t know that I had an option to take things a little easier – In fact, I didn’t know much.

It’s taken me another twenty years to learn a thing or two about myself. I now know who I am and what makes me feel good. The changes aren’t that I’d rather take it easy the changes are that I now know what I prefer to do and that I’m not afraid to admit it to myself and others.

Her implication that I’m just getting old and boring pissed me off more than a little. The only thing my age has to do with it is the wisdom about myself and my life that growing older has given me. Change is amazing when you’re aligning yourself with your authenticity. If getting older means getting real then bring it on, I’m ready!

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