Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday!

Today JamieRidler asks us “What do you wish to rise above?”

I read the prompt this morning and immediately the word (and feeling of) anger popped into my awareness.

I desperately want to rise above my anger towards one of the most important people in my life. I know anger is always a cover up for another feeling and in this case it’s hurt feelings.

I wish I could magically just let go of the hurt, pain and anger and I’m doing my best to. I want to be the kind of person who can say (and really mean it) – it’s ok; I know you’re human and you’re doing the best you can; just like me and everyone else.

Forgiveness is something that I want to do for both of us but when I feel like somehow I’ve been placed in the wrong I can’t do it. I can’t put my feelings out there and then be chastised and told that it’s my own fault I feel bad. How do I forgive after opening myself up and then being told that I’m somehow to blame for other people’s behaviour and choices? I’m having a very hard time with that.

Why do people have such a hard time hearing about feelings? Why is it so hard to listen - I mean really listen, listening in a way that you can hear the meaning and not just the words?

It’s hard to be angry and sad at the same time – have you ever noticed that?

20 comments:

  1. Hi,
    Hope you'll get to that place where anger and resentment are banished.
    As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too.
    Sunny hugs from sunny Bordeaux,
    Sabrina.

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  2. Lynne, I had the same feeling when I first read the question. I wanted to rise up in anger against the people who backstab me at work, who try to hold me back, who doubt me, who distrust me because they are the liars and so assume that everyone else must be as well.
    I think most 'other' people have trouble listening to feelings because it means that the focus isn't on them... it is about someone else. To listen to someone else's feelings we have to set aside our own.
    My mom used to make me crazy when I tried to tell her how I was feeling about something and she would discount it with 'oh, you don't really feel that way." ARRGGHH! How did she know what I was feeling? How could she presume I wasn't feeling something that I really truly was!?!?
    Our feelings are so personal at times that it is impossible for others to understand them because they've never 'been there done that' and so they just don't get it.
    My oncology doc yesterday told me that my cancer was MY fault for being married more than once. The nerve! I won't go back to him, but it is that kind of narrowmindedness that sometimes serves to hurt more than help.
    Write out your feelings for yourself. All the anger. All the sadness. Free it from your heart, then let it go in a burning.
    You know that you are only responsible for yourself and not for others, and you need to forgive them as well as yourself.
    Hugs to you.
    As you wish for yourself, so I also wish for you.

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    1. You're right in so many ways Cindi...thanks for the reminders.

      BTW - you need to tell that oncologist where to put his opinion, what a quack!!

      Hugs right back at you!

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  3. Anger can destroy you. You can only control YOUR thoughts and actions. And you are the only one who truly knows what/how you feel. Embrace that and grow in your human-ness, as you rise above to heal your heart.As you wish for yourself, I also wish for you. {{hugs}}

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  4. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also!

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  5. For your own sanity, as you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.
    ~Sunfire

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    1. Lol...that's how it feels some days :) Thanks Sunfire!

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  6. All my best to you rising above these painful emotions. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

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    1. Thank you Cassandra - I'm working on it!

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  7. Anger=fear, What do you fear with your anger at this person? As you wished for yourself, I wish for you also,

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  8. That's a tough one. It is really hard when someone you care for doesn't accept and acknowledge your feelings about their behavior. Good luck with working through it.

    For what it's worth, I believe that another person's actions *can* make you feel a certain way. That is how emotions work. Something happens, and an emotion responds to it. We get to work with our emotions afterward and try to move toward something better for us, but that first reaction is real and not something you're at fault for!

    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.

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    1. Thanks Kim, I really appreciated reading your comment...a lot, lol!

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  9. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

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  10. Anger is poison... yes, letting go and moving forward is always a positive answer.
    Listening to someone's feelings is very important. Everyone deserves to be heard!
    Yet, some choose not to. Avoiding is easier... why is that...? This always boggles my mind...
    As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.
    Take care ((hugs))

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    1. It's a work in progress...like everything else. Thanks April :)

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  11. I so hear you on this! The tool I've found the most helpful in releasing that anger and moving into forgiveness came from Colin Tipping who wrote 'Radical Forgiveness' and has a game which helps you to feel your feelings so you can get to forgiveness. I love it so much and hope it helps you.
    As you wish for yourself Lynne, so I wish for you as well.

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  12. Thanks for the the info Dionne. I've already checked out the book and I might just have to get it! :)

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